My staff lead, Richard, gave me a book to read while I spend time at home during Christmas called, The Tears of my Soul, to help prepare my heart before I head off to Cambodia for the winter mission trip. It’s the first-person account of Sokreaksa Himm, a survivor of the Khmer Rouge killing fields. I spent the afternoon reading it today and just couldn’t stop reading. It was tough at times to continue because of the graphic nature of what happened to Reaksa and his family (13 of his family members killed, only he and his sister survived), but it was an amazing read, especially for the soul. Reading through what he had to do to survive, and then overcoming his post-traumatic stress disorder, and finding rest in God to face his past really illuminated Psalm 23 for me (Which the author also quotes in the book).

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

I’m still awestruck during this Christmas season by the fact that God came to this world as a peasant child, died a criminal, and in between experienced so much pain, suffering, loneliness, anger, and much more. People around the world can find rest in a God who experienced suffering like we have. For Reaksa, he was able to forgive the very people who murdered his family, just as Christ forgave us for our sins that put him on the cross. More and more it’s clear that gospel really is the only hope for this broken world. I hope this can really stick with my heart as the trip to Cambodia comes in a little over a week.

• What is the nature of true peace?  How can there be peace between God and man?

The nature of true peace… I can only imagine true peace being in the presence of God. In a world full of distractions and brokenness I long to go home to my loving Father.  When I think of peace, I need to first think of everything that binds me. As spoken in the lyrics of the song, with the woes of sin and strife the world has suffered long. I am contained by my sin so much it’s difficult to hear God’s voice from day-to-day. The voices of sin that tell me that God isn’t watching or he isn’t listening to my prayers pull me to distress. I wonder if God even cares or has plans to truly prosper me. It pains me to see myself in the mirror and imagine that I am loved by God much less the people around me. Because I can’t see myself being loved by God, his voice is tuned out because of the conflicting messages bombarded at me by the world: go pursue that career, watch that because it’s entertaining, you need to buy this to be happy, you’re only worth something if people respect you.

And here is my one-hour devoted solely to God. This is where I find true peace, in His word. The nature of peace is to get away from the things that distract. I can only hear this message if I’m listening. Unlike the Pharisees, I need to not be distracted by peripherals and be real with God. This doesn’t always happen though. Out of the twenty-four hours in a day I can’t even focus enough to structure my life around that one-hour with God. I get distracted in front of my computer. I don’t want to find rest in God because I’m contemplating the ways I can win people’s respect and approval, especially as a leader and staff. I’m enamored at the lives of the powerful and influential, wondering what I’m doing with my life. All these things seem so much easier than wrestling with the truth of who I am and my sole need and desire for God’s voice. And in that one-hour with God, when I find true peace, I hear the voice of God telling me that even though I am in strife with my fellow man, and even though I am burdened by the weight of my sin, I am loved. All those distractions, all the voices that tell me I’m missing out, or that I need to be loved and respected… compared the voice that calls me His ‘beloved’, they become dwarfed. The voices of the world become so insignificant because when I hear that I am beloved, I see the manger and the way God became vulnerable and came into this world as an infant. He didn’t come as a king, and he didn’t leave as a saint. The Christ child was born a peasant and died a as a criminal on the cross. It is an expensive love that God had to pay for me. That type of love and forgiveness is a sound as sweet as honey in light of who I am. I hear it and it dispels every one of the lies this world has to throw at me. I embrace it and it brings peace to my tormented soul. Peace between God and man through the blood of Christ. That is how there can be peace between God and man.

Ye.

Ah, memories.

Cheers.

Finished the walk. Looks pretty vanilla to me.

Couple sketchs for the pose that had to express concern and the pose I ended up choosing…

What inspires you?

Ye.

Here’s a block for the vanilla walk assignment.

I’m so scared of knees now.

And that’s the pose for the week, Stu demonstrating some strength.

Thankful that these past couple weeks haven’t been as busy… got to do some revisions and whatnot. Glad I also had enough time to express thanks to different people in my life. Good deal.

Ye.

Away from the smelly air.

Away from the dank streets.

Away from the protests, riots, and fires.

… And yet I feel like such a stranger here…

2. Paste into address bar.

3. Insert ‘repeat’ after ‘youtube’ (ie. http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch?v=u7deClndzQw). Hit Enter.

4. Click 720p. Full screen.

5. Hours of mellow.

Ye.

Here’s the planning that went into it. 1 character and 20 frames later, it vaguely resembles the final product, ha.

There goes all my creativity.

GG.